The Death of Ego, The Reality of Life

Their approach was quite peculiar. There were no sermons or lectures, no bombastic speeches, no pretentiousness… no grandeur, no pomp, no certificates or degrees. They never said, “Look here, on page so-and-so, it is written like this—see for yourself.” There was none of that. What they possessed was humility, modesty, and self-effacement. In very brief sentences, they conveyed volumes, filled with compassionate and loving words. They were a personification of love, sacrifice, and loyalty. Despite countless mistakes, misbehaviour, and even disrespect, they never got angry. We made every possible blunder, but these signs of the Almighty never rejected us. The more rebellious we were, the more affection they showed. What kind of material were they made from, and still are?

They would say: “A good child is worth a million, but a bad one is worth even more than that.” I didn’t understand, so I asked, “What do you mean by that?” They smiled and replied, “If a child is already good, there’s no need to worry about them. But the one who has gone astray, they are the ones who need love and care. You need to ensure they don’t sink into a swamp, fall into a pit, get lost in darkness, or ruin themselves. You need to take great care of them.”

They were the kind of people who said such strange things that people thought they were mad, foolish, or ignorant. But they were merely lovers of truth—simple-hearted individuals, devoted to love. They would say, “When death comes, you will die. There will be no intercession, no one will be able to help—no bribes, no threats. If you want to taste death, why not die now?

Experience it and see how peaceful it is, how comforting, how sweet.” I asked, “How?” They simply said, “That’s for you to find out,” and then they fell silent. Then one day, I finally understood, and they said, “Begin to think of yourself as already dead.” They taught me how, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Yes, there is sweetness, serenity, and calmness in it.

The dead never harm anyone, they do not trouble anyone, they do not gossip or backbite, they do not conspire. In appearance, be alive, but in spirit, be dead. Have no desires, no care for reward or praise. Let insults and taunts mean nothing to you. Just keep giving, keep giving. You will keep receiving. After all, the creation of God is varied. They are not all the same, nor can they be. Our task is to serve God’s creation and find Him within them. Let people say whatever they want. Don’t let their accusations or taunts divert you from your path, nor let anyone’s praise inflate your ego. Focus only on God and His people. If someone is hungry, don’t give them advice; give them food. If someone is thirsty, offer them water. Be the bridge between two estranged individuals, and bear the burdens of others. Don’t seek for yourself but for the sake of others.

Exhaust yourself for others, and you will find that only those who seek something get tired. Worldly trade and business tire a person out, but in love, one never tires, never. A lover is always ready, always eager. Love never lets a person tire. Love never gets old, never fades. It remains ever fresh, always vibrant. The tree of love is evergreen; autumn cannot touch it.

Selfless, unconditional love is like an oasis—a cool, sweet, flowing stream, a peaceful river, and a deep lake. Become love itself, a manifestation of love and prayer. Open your hands for others, become their shade. If someone needs a kind word, speak it. If someone is sad, tell them a joke, give them hope. Speak with a smile and make them laugh. Hide your own wounds, and place balm on others’ wounds. Become like the dead, who seek nothing.

If someone comes, places flowers at your feet, and leaves, or lights incense and spreads fragrance without asking, God will fix what is broken, He will carry your boat of needs across. He will bring dawn out of the darkest night.

He can bring life out of death and turn the living into dust. Cover others’ faults, and God will cover yours. Embrace the needy, the destitute, live for them, and die for yourself. When blessings come, be grateful; when they don’t, be patient. And what wealth could be greater than patience? When the Creator and Owner of the universe is with those who are patient, what room is there for sadness or despair? Yes, whether ordinary or special, you must put an end to your ego.

Most of the time, people asked questions, and they would answer. The session was coming to an end, and in the end, they asked the people a question: “What is the hardest thing to do in the path of God?” Answers came in, and most people believed that giving up one’s life is the hardest and greatest sacrifice. They remained silent and watched as people reached a consensus on this view. When everyone had spoken, they began to answer their own question.

“Indeed, giving one’s life is a great thing. To give one’s life for God is a tremendous act, and the reward for it is immense. But think about this: in human history, there have been thousands of wars, and in those wars, millions of people have knowingly sacrificed their lives for their country, their nation, their king, or various other great causes—and they still do so today.” With that, they fell silent. People realised that their view was different from the majority, and they eagerly awaited what it was. Finally, they spoke again, ending our wait.

A human being is composed of two things: an inner personality and an outward body. Sacrificing one’s life is the sacrifice of the outward body. Undoubtedly, it is a significant act, but to be moved to the point of sacrificing one’s life, a powerful speech from an eloquent orator, a decisive moment that stirs emotions, or an intense feeling of love or hatred is often enough.

However, sacrificing one’s inner self, commonly referred to as the sacrifice of the ego, is the most difficult task in this world. Even if a person manages to do this at a particular moment for some reason, in the very next moment, the ego revives. Sometimes, an individual might be able to do this before a specific person, but then the ego stands tall before another. There are many times when we think we have eliminated the ego, but it remains fully intact.

So, how can one know whether the ego has truly been eliminated or not?

I will explain, but first, understand that the ego comes in two forms: one is ordinary, and the other is more subtle or special. The ordinary ego expresses itself openly, making it easy to recognise. This is the same thing we refer to as arrogance—thinking of oneself as superior in any aspect and considering others inferior. Anyone can point this out, and if we are sincere, we can immediately correct ourselves. Hence, when we stop thinking of ourselves as superior and others as inferior, we are freed from this ordinary ego.

However, the special ego is hidden behind seven veils. Even those who claim to be humble and modest can have egos that soar to the heavens, and they may not even be aware of it.

How can this special ego be identified? Another person asked.

It’s not easy to recognise, but I will give you a few major signs. The first sign is if you do not have the habit of acknowledging the virtues of others. The second is that when someone criticises you, instead of understanding what they are saying, you immediately start thinking about how to respond. The third sign is that when someone tries to point out a mistake you’ve made, you instinctively try to find fault in them instead. Each of these behaviours indicates that you suffer from an ego problem, but since arrogance is considered a social vice, you keep it hidden. However, once you recognise your ailment, you can surely rid yourself of it!

They used to say something quite beautiful: “Consider the little to be a lot.” And to this day, I have not been able to put it into practice. I keep talking, I keep talking. Anyway, that’s enough for today… If life continues, we will meet again. The work of the world will carry on. May you all remain happy and prosperous. Stay joyful. Nothing will remain but the name of Allah.

بکھرائے تیرے رنگ ہواؤں نے ہر طرف

کوئی نہیں ہے ترے سوا خشک و تر میں بھی

سیراب ہو گئے ہیں تری اک نظر سے ہم

کیا کیا قیامتیں ہیں تری اک نظر میں بھی

Your colours have been scattered by the winds, everywhere
There is no one but You, in both the barren and the fertile lands
We have been quenched by just one glance from You
What great wonders lie within even a single glance from You