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Hide and seek

There are some relationships that are heartbreaking to write about, but when you start trying to write, your mind goes blank, where to start and what will be the end of it? Now what should be written on “mother”. Where can I find the appropriate words that can accurately reflect the pain and feelings of the mother, that can accurately interpret the sincere prayers of the mother, it is not possible for me. Every writer is satisfied by writing the relation of mother very great, but I do not consider it more than an extra word because where is the justice to write the Himalayan mountain of greatness only great? Especially those mothers who put the burden of widowhood on their hearts and the crown of hardships and hardships on their heads and sacrifice their youth days and nights to raise their young children. While it is not necessary that they get the reward of these sacrifices in this cruel and insensitive society.

After the article “How hard is it to live. Mother’s Day” from the readers, an endless stream of messages, many bouquets of minimalist feelings with different and beautiful words have been filled at my feet, including a strong demand for this. It has been said that nothing has been written about those whose mothers have left this world, while for half a century there has not been a moment in life when the deceased mother has been separated even for a moment. Even today, when I hear about the separation of a mother, I can’t help but remember the face of my mother, who used to hold her to her chest in every difficulty and give such comfort that all the sorrow was melted away. I never thought that I could live without my mother.

The mother is gone, somewhere beyond the clouds, her room is empty, everything becomes sad and meaningless, as if all the colours of life have faded away. One day after the mother left, Maulvi Sahib was called, and he brought several dozen children from the mosque to read the Quran. Hundreds of friends were also engaged in reciting the Quran as if we were all doing this to repay the debt of our mother’s separation. Prepare all the food that mother liked, we all know that mother used to cook our favourite food all the time, for our seva in hot heat, for her husband and every member of the family, different all day long. There was never any complaint while preparing different types of food, nothing was done for the sake of dozens of guests, but when everything was finished, she herself would eat the bread with onion, salt and pepper sauce with great simplicity saying, I was full after cooking a lot of food, so I wanted to eat roti with chutney.

But today, on his departure, all the food was prepared with great care, he kept only two or three suits for himself to wear, but the clothes he liked today, he also brought all these items to the poor later. Will distribute. What a mother used to do, what a mother used to do for her loved ones in her life, today it was repeated in the same way. At the end of the recitation of the Qur’an, Imam Sahib raised his hands and started asking Allah for supplication. He told all of us in his voice that whatever you want to ask from Allah, ask well. Everyone in the assembly closed their eyes and bowed their necks, bringing great humility on their faces and started saying “Amen” in a loud voice to every prayer of Imam Sahib, but I didn’t know how to ask for what happened to my mother, I never had to ask and I never thought that my mother would leave and I would have to do this mother’s work myself. My voice does not know the way to the sky! There was never any need to ask for myself that all this calculation and all this series was handled by the mother. This life was light and easy as long as all the burdens were carried by the mother.

I remember when I was out of the country to study. Exams were coming up, I was busy with preparations, so I couldn’t call my mother every week. In those days, there was no phone facility that is available today, every week one had to go to the post office regularly and book a trunk call, which came after a short wait. I thought I would do it next week. He used to plan all the time that after getting his degree, if he gets a good job, he will call his mother. He kept comforting his heart by thinking this. A voice came from inside saying, “Okay, you are not thinking wrong, it is time to build a career, you have spent your whole life for mail meetings. But this thought was not realized at that time, but now when this great crime has been committed.” If you feel it, then the conscience answers to itself, “O fool, suffer the punishment of the centuries!”

The hollowness of the words of these thoughts is screaming and asking for an account today that the mother who gave more than my needs and my right, how did I compensate the right of this mother? Why did not I think that she gave my voice? How I spent the entire week to hear, how every moment of my separation must have been spent praying for my safety and I started to comfort myself by making excuses of preparing for my exams while my actual exam and His eternal happiness should have been that I would spread happiness in his every breath, just as he had me in every breath. Don’t think that there will be days, months and years left on your calendar, how did you think that I will talk next week or sometime, but why didn’t it come to your mind that this mother is going to leave the East and Setting with the sun setting in the west.

Have you ever noticed your mother saying “Suhna Suhna” to you and all the hairs on her head turned silver. If only you had thought of that at the time or scolded your inner selfish son by saying, “Who has seen next week?” You would wake up immediately thinking that what could be more blissful than that today once again the juicy voice of the mother will shower the ears with true and pure saliva and gems.

I have heard, rather I believe, that there is a paradise where rivers of honey and milk flow, fairies live in beautiful gardens, there is no sorrow, no pain, no guard over joy, no guard over laughter. There is no condition, Bin Mange is beautiful clouds, and Bin Mange is only to entice the heart, there are days sweeter than nights and nights brighter than days and there are many beautiful things, but no eye has seen them all yet. Yes, there are things that have been heard, but these are all the things of the future, but in the room next door where the mother used to live, heaven used to live at her feet.

We all have eyes, but sometimes we thought that mother had a telescope rather a microscope. If something was lost in the house, only the mother would find it. My wallet, sister’s head clip or dupatta, father’s watch, grandfather’s cane, nothing was hidden from mother’s eyes, but whatever mother hid, no one could find it. I tried many times, I searched every corner of the house, but I could not find the sorrows that mother had hidden from all of us, the pains that she had buried in a dark basement. I searched every closet and every inch of every room in the house, but I couldn’t find the dreams that were broken to connect us, I opened every layer of the bed, I couldn’t find the tears that were absorbed into a pillowcase and dried. were gone Yes, of course the mother won in this lucky match, but we all lost, we have no complaints about losing, we don’t care about what was hidden, but you trained us best for so many years and handed over the paradise of your feet to us. If you have hidden yourself in some magnificent palace of heaven, how can I find you there? All of us are still looking for you in our imagination, we are looking for you in every corner of the house, I never thought that if you are hidden, how will I be able to find you, because my eyes are like a telescope or a microscope like yours. I don’t want to see your smiling face again.

Mother! I’ve had enough of hide and seek, I’ve had enough of hiding, now I’m tired, now will you come to my dreams and tell me about your situation?

Saturday 18 May 2024

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